it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wear drunk well.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
