"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
