awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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