ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
