she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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