why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
