nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just cropdusted the office
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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