I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
