The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
