No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
