apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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