it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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