I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
