Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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