omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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