talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ugly people sure do ruin things
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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