I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
