He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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