I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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