do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
