Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
