Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
