wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
