I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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