Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
