We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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