it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
