She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
