It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
