i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
