So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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