Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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