dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
