just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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