...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
