If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
