STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
