Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
