sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
