Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
