that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
