At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
