South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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