Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
