): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
