I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
