dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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