We're like a lot better than the average bears
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
