he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
