.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
